Imagine the scenario: Chris, the organizer of your local networking group, has just asked you at the last minute to fill in for the scheduled speaker at next month’s meeting. You already have too many commitments on your plate. Imagine your answer:
You:
“Well, I don’t think I have enough time to prepare. I’m so sorry, I wish I could help you!”
Chris:
“Your last speech was great. Maybe you could talk a bit more about that? I’d really appreciate it!”
You: “I’m glad you liked it, maybe I could do it…
Chris:
“Oh, that would be great! Just let me know the title…” …gentle
How would you feel about making this speech? You may feel stressed or resentful. You may not be at your best when you make the speech. Other work that you would really like to be doing could be affected.
Now imagine a different answer:
You do not,
I can’t be prepared on such short notice. I know how hard it is to find someone – Alex talks about a variety of topics and I think he could replace you. I’ll give you his number.”
Chris:
“Thank you! That will really help.”
This is a win-win-win: Alex gets a chance to speak (his specialty), Chris gets a speaker, and you don’t have to be saddled with a commitment you don’t want; besides, you probably won something good. will of Alex and Chris. What a difference!
Whether you’re saying no to a coworker who asks you to do something, or saying no to a prospect you really don’t want to have, the ability to say no gracefully is a key skill when you’re in business as a manager. individual entrepreneur. . Here are four quick steps to learn this skill:
1. Understand the reasons why you say “yes”, even when you really don’t want to. Here are some common reasons; Which ones apply to you?
— You want to please people; You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
— The customer is always rightYou can’t say no to the customer!
— Their uneducated say no; if you say no, you feel like you are being self-centered.
— You are flattered per request.
— you feel like you need the business!
– Can’t think of a good way to say no fast enough.
–Do you think there may be other unforeseen events? negative consequences if you say no
two. Acknowledge the good things that can come from saying “no”:
— You like more chances say “yes” to the right customer.
— You like more time to do the things you *want* to do.
— Saying it doesn’t express how you *really* feel. You are taking responsibility for your own feelings and let others take responsibility for theirs.
— Someone else who really wants the business of this client, has the opportunity to get it
3. Learn to say “no” gracefully:
— “No, I can’t do that.” Don’t beat around the bush-put “no” at the beginning.
— Spent nonverbal cues to underline the “no”-shake your head; use a firm and direct voice, use eye contact.
— Add an explanation if you want, but do not apologize: “I have another commitment.” – even if that commitment is to yourself!
— Be empathic if the situation calls for it: “I know how hard it is to find a tax preparer this time of year.”
— Recommend a alternative if one is available: “Let me refer you to…”
— If you’re not sure, it’s always ok ask for more time to think about it!
Four. Practice your new skill:
— Rehearse ahead of time if you think it will help. Role playing game with your business coach or a friend or colleague.
— Choose a low risk situation first. Practice with your partner, family, friends. Or practice on strangers, if that’s easier for you: the salesperson who wants to sell you one more thing, the telemarketer who calls over dinner.
— Make your way to friendly customers. They will likely appreciate the limits you are setting!
– When you have the courage to fire that client who hasn’t paid and makes unreasonable demands, you’ll know you’ve mastered saying “NO!” (Hint: refer them to someone else who is a better fit and helps manage the transition!)
Saying “no” gives you freedom. It’s a way of honoring yourself and the person you say “no” to. Learn to do it right and you will earn the respect of others, and yourself!
Copyright 2004, Terri Zwierzynski, Accel Innovation, Inc.