Let’s be very clear about this: Most people who are victims of domestic violence think that Domestic violence happens to other people, not them..
There are many reasons why people, most commonly women, stay too long in a toxic relationship. For the most part, they stay as long as they make it. because they are not even aware that what they are experiencing is domestic violence. They tell themselves it is not domestic violence because of any or all of the following:
a) They are of medium or high income, and they know that domestic violence is something that only affects people who are at the bottom of the social scale.
b) Their partner does not hit them.
c) Your partner only he beats them when he has been drinking.
d) Is a well-regarded member of the community or church.
e) That was what they witnessed at home, when they were children.
f) Their partner repeatedly tells them that something they did, triggered his behavior.
g) You can apologize, seem genuinely sorry, and swear it won’t happen again, even though it always does.
h) Their partner tells them they are ‘too sensitive’ and exaggerates the importance of their fights.
These are just some of the reasons victims of an abusive relationship tend to doubt their own feelings.
In reality, domestic violence affects people of all races, religions, and social and economic groups.
The violence also does not have to be physical to qualify as domestic violence. Any relationship in which one partner is constantly hurt (emotionally and/or physically) by the other is a domestic violence relationship. A relationship in which humiliation, criticism, superiority, contempt and fear constantly fall on the partner is a domestic violence relationship.
Never underestimate the power of words to inflict harm. I’ve heard many, many mentally and emotionally abused women say, “Oh, but it can’t be domestic violence, because it doesn’t hit meWhat they don’t realize is that their fear of reprimand from their partner is just as effective a weapon of control as the threat of physical violence. Their partner may choose not to hit, for their own reasons, but they don’t has ratings on the use of words to intimidate and brutalize.
Brutal words cause as much lasting damage to the mind as physical violence does to the body.
But, you may still be wondering if this information applies to you. If you’re like most battered women, you’re saying, “Yes, objective, my partner is really not that bad. He really loves me…” Maybe he does it He still tells you that he loves you from time to time, to have you by his side. An abusive partner will declare their love from time to time, especially when they feel they may have pushed you too far.
The real clues to whether or not you are in an abusive relationship are in you and your feelings. So let’s take a quick look at some of the key indications that you’re in an abusive relationship.
- Walk on eggshells. Most of the time, you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. You know that it doesn’t take much for your partner to get angry and fight with you. You spend a lot of time and energy trying to keep him happy, but he can find fault with you in absolutely anything. You can never guarantee that you will get through any situation without him finding fault with you.
- You constantly obsess over him. An abused woman tends to lose sight of herself: she spends her whole life worrying about her partner’s mood, behavior, and whether he loves her or not. In her mind it’s all about to theit’s not about you.
- You are generally unhappy. If you are in an abusive relationship, you will rarely laugh, because you have a very heavy heart. You see your life as a difficult and painful affair that you feel powerless to change, no matter how hard you try. Misery has become your default state.
- You feel bad about yourself. You spend your time blaming yourself or wondering if everything that happens it is your fault – and therefore you should blame yourself. Your partner has trained you in this pattern by blaming you for everything that goes wrong in their life. You end up stopping yourself as sincerely as he hates you.
- You take responsibility for the entire relationship. It takes two people for a relationship to work. It takes two people to get the job done in a relationship. A functional relationship is all about reciprocity or mutuality, if you prefer. It is about two people who take care of each other, support each other, activelyand share. A key indication of an abusive relationship is that one partner spends time desperately trying to make the relationship work, while the other spends time getting rid of it.
- You are constantly minimizing, denying, and excusing. You manage to find a series of “reasons” to explain and excuse their behavior: stress at work, a difficult childhood, bad past relationships… You also tell yourself that things are not Really so bad In fact, you’ve gotten so good at denial (ie, lying to yourself) that you can get past his contempt, his affairs, his pettiness, his mistreatment of children, his bad behavior with other people. Even when you’re really apologize for himyou still tell yourself, “It’s not that bad.”
- You give up your own life. You give up yourself, your own right to happiness, fulfillment and even your own interests. You tell yourself that “it’s all over for you,” and that staying is what’s best for the kids. You put yourself a very poor second to him in everything. You come to believe that you have nothing to look forward to and that you would be lost without him. Actually, you’ve lost sight of with to the.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? If so, you are in an abusive relationship. You may still be hoping that if you love your abusive partner enough, then
One day, will finally return that love. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. The reasons why your partner stays with you and treats you the way they do have little or nothing to do with love.
The good news is that it’s not too late to get out there, build a more fulfilling life for yourself, and provide a better role model for your children, if you have children.
If you want to get away from the crooked and miserable world of abuse, hold this thought: a much, much better life awaits you. Just take action, take that first step, and you they can Grow your self-esteem, create a happy life for yourself and find the satisfaction you deserve.