Why can we let our guard down and feel totally comfortable with some people and yet with others the steel walls just don’t crack? With some we can eat from the same plate and drink from the same drink, and others we keep them at a distance.
It is a common fact that North Americans need three feet of space between them when talking, and yet South Americans (or those in warmer climates) require only a few inches of personal space. What defines our level of proximity comfort?
The act of falling in love is also an act of letting go of our guard, allowing the other person to enter our mind and heart and then throughout life, until there is no division, often remembered as one soul and two bodies.
Have you ever wondered why in anger we have to scream and in love we only need to whisper, even if the physical proximity is the same? So what is the difference? LOVE and an open heart!
Our physical proximity and, more importantly, emotional, is often determined by how willing and open we are to listen and understand the other; to care and share with others. For example, walking into a room full of ten people can be overwhelming if you don’t know them. But if they were all friends, relatives, or siblings, even ten might seem like a small number.
Needing “space” is more about needing mental space, if there is no meeting of minds. When you feel safe, accepted, and loved, you don’t need to build fences. Most of our defense is self defense. In our vulnerability, we are not sure how we will be accepted and therefore “protect” ourselves by staying away, disconnected, being polite and quiet, and so on.
Ultimately, how close we feel to someone will be relative to how close I feel to myself. We deny ourselves the right to participate due to many of our own emotions (fear, sensitivity, and pain). If I am sure of my truth, then I do not need to fight and I can give freely from my heart. If my heart is full, then I can let go of the fear that someone might hurt me. In reality, it is my own reactions to the behavior of others that cause me pain. If I come from a place of ‘giving’ then I will be too busy to ‘take’ the pain of any situation. Therefore, there are no necessary defenses.
To create a global family, we need to open our hearts and minds, embrace everyone. Be less critical and more tolerant. If we are to create a world where there are no barriers, we must first make friends with ourselves and then do what comes naturally … BE love and GIVE love.
It’s time … to recognize that the walls I’ve built around me only serve to isolate me, not protect me. Releasing them can open me up to a new world of possibilities.