Ernie walked from the guest bedroom to the couch and plopped down, dangling his feet carelessly on the table. Recently, he had started calling the guest bedroom his bedroom. This was starting to irritate Michelle. She poured herself a cup of coffee in her favorite take-out cup and she began to think about the long and annoying commute to work.
“I’ll have a cup.” Ernie said, yawning. Michelle stared at him, but he didn’t notice, he was too busy changing the channels on the television, changing Michelle’s morning news show. Dave came out of the bedroom, so she looked at him here, too, just in case. Dave shrugged, poured himself a cup of coffee, and kissed Michelle on the top of the head.
“I’ll have a cup if you come this way.” Ernie said again. Dave poured another cup and walked over to sit next to Ernie, who had decided on Sport Center on ESPN. “Da-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah…” Ernie hummed, imitating the short, quirky theme song from the sports show. “How was yesterday’s game?” Ernie said, raising his hand in the air for a high five without taking his eyes off the television. Dave absently patted his hand after he poured out the two cups of coffee and sat down next to Ernie.
“It was awesome,” Dave replied, “I hope Monday night’s game is just as good tonight.”
“I can’t wait,” Ernie replied. “You should bring home some beer tonight for that. Sounds like it’s going to be good.”
“Good idea. I’ll stop by and pick some up on the way home from work.” Dave agreed.
“Hey,” Ernie whined as he sipped his coffee, “you forgot the cream, man.”
Michelle’s head fell and her shoulders slumped. “I’m going to work.” she said, and headed for the door.
– – – – – –
“LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!” Voices echoed as Michelle opened the front door to enter her house. It had been a LONG day at work and she just wanted to take a hot bath and go to bed. She recognized Ernie’s loud, nasty voice, but she wasn’t alone. It sounded like an Ernie pack. Michelle walked into the room and saw half a dozen of Dave’s old college friends all laughing at Ernie as he did a touchdown dance in front of the TV and nailed a crushed, nearly empty beer can to the new carpet.
Dave noticed Michelle and stood up. “Hi honey, there’s pizza on the counter. I’ve got one with ham and pepperoni for you, just the way you like it.” Dave reached out and kissed her, but she stared at him blankly.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” he said quietly, then walked towards the bedroom. Dave followed her.
“Oooooooh…” Ernie crooned, “Davy’s in trouble, Davy’s in trouble.” All the boys laughed. Ernie was always the life of the party, Michelle thought he was the life of the Nazi party, but Dave loved his old friend.
Dave closed the door and turned to her. “What happen?” he asked him.
“Really? Are you asking me that? Ernie isn’t enough; do we have to have a frat party Monday night? I have to get up and go tomorrow morning, today was a nightmare, we almost lost count of Kleinert and I have to save him tomorrow, if that’s humanly possible.”
“They only came for the game, honey. I’m sorry. I’ll keep them quiet and get them out of here early, I promise. I’ll go run you a hot bath and get you pizza and some wine, and this will be it for a while. It’s REALLY great game, that’s all.”
Michelle massaged her temple and began to remove her clothes to get into the bathroom. She loved Dave, with all her heart, but the situation was starting to affect her.
“Listen,” Dave said from the bathroom over the noise of the water filling the tub. “I really appreciate how you’ve been handling this and I’ll show you how much. We’re going out this weekend.” and things will be back to normal soon enough.”
– – – – – –
The next morning, Michelle woke up feeling hungover, even though she only drank two glasses of wine and went to bed. Once in bed, she couldn’t sleep, thanks to the noise and the ever-boisterous Ernie, who celebrated every touchdown and joked loudly about the women in every commercial. She ended up sleeping a good 3 hours.
Michelle desperately needed a cup of coffee, but she had to hurry to work. She went to get her coffee cup that she took with her every morning. It was her salvation on her way to work. The mug was not in the cupboard and it was not in the dishwasher. After a frustrating search, she found it on the table next to the sofa, where Ernie had passed out. He smelled of liquor and had ashes. Michelle smoked while she washed the cup and decided that the time had come.
– – – – – –
Michelle sat quietly in her chair. It was after 6:30. She had been home from work for over an hour. Dave sat next to her watching television. Ernie came out in a bathrobe, having obviously just woken up. He went to the refrigerator, rummaged around, and pulled out a bottle of wine. He uncorked it and took a long drink, straight from the bottle.
“Ahhh…” He groaned, “Nothing like dog hair.” He walked over and plopped down on the sofa, next to Dave.
“I was saving that.” Michelle said, looking at Ernie and her husband.
“Sorry,” Ernie shrugged, taking another swallow, “it’s the only liquor in the house. I’ll replace it, I promise.” Ernie offered the bottle to Michelle, in case she wanted a drink, and she frowned. Dave accepted the bottle and took a drink.
“Speaking of replacing things,” Michelle began, “how’s your job search going? It’s been two weeks since you lost yours. I thought you said it would only take a week or two for you to get yours back.”
“It’s been tough, the job market sucks right now, and I have to find work under the table. I need to stay off the grid. I hate taxes.”
“Well, I have some clues I found in the newspaper on the counter over there. I’ve circled them for you.”
Ernie drained the rest of the bottle and stood up, stretching. “Great,” he said, yawning, “and thank you very much. I’ll follow you tomorrow. I don’t feel so good today, so I’m going to bed. Let tomorrow start early.”
Ernie went back to the guest bedroom and closed the door. Michelle glared at Dave, who just sat there looking embarrassed.
– – – – – –
Later that night, Ernie tossed and turned in his bed. He could hear Michelle and Dave arguing through the thin walls. She wanted her to go, but Ernie knew Dave couldn’t kick him out; they went back too far, they had passed too much together. Finally, the argument ended when Dave perked up and took Ernie’s side, putting Michelle in her place. Dave wasn’t going to turn on his friend in a moment of need, and both Ernie and Michelle knew it. Things would be awkward between them momentarily, but Ernie knew it would. He rolled over and fluffed up the pillow, relaxing.
‘As long as Dave has my back,’ Ernie thought to himself, ‘I’m not going anywhere, man.’