I have been in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of the best lessons I have learned from the industry and found in all the best sales professionals and successful people is:
“All super successful people love people more than they love money.”
And it is their love for people that makes them rich and wealthy.
I have shared this same teaching with my children since they were little. I truly believe that they will be the most important factors in helping you to be more successful in life.
Love refers to individual and personal care that goes both below and beyond loyalty and respect. It includes love for friends, neighbors, and even adversaries. And most important of all, the lifelong commitment of love to family.
We learn to love others by serving them and love is unconditional. We may not always love those who serve us. His love, depending on how it is given, can pamper us or intimidate us.
However, unconditional, understanding and fully accepted love unreservedly warms us and generates our love for each other. We may not love those who serve us, but we definitely love those we serve.
I would like to share the following tips where parents can give their children unconditional love and give them the opportunity to serve. They are also the things I live for:
Clearly separate dissatisfaction with the behavior from love for the child
Parents should always expect their children to make mistakes and occasionally display unacceptable behavior despite many prior reminders.
When your child misbehaves, it is your responsibility as a parent to correct him. However, in each instance of discipline, you must reiterate that it is what the child did that you do not like and that his love for him cannot be altered by anything. Frequently mention your children of all ages and back it up with a hug and physical affection.
Here is an example of what I did with my four-year-old daughter three weeks ago when she misbehaved in class by playing during the lesson and not paying attention to what her teacher was teaching her.
I rebuked her. I said, “Ethel, I’m really upset when you played with your friends in class when all of you were supposed to hear what your teacher had to say. You’re there in class to learn. Do you understand me?”
Her tears began to roll after a long pause. And I continued sternly: “Dear, do you promise dad that you will pay attention in class and if your friends misbehave during the lesson, you will be the leader telling them to respect and pay attention to your teacher while he is teaching?”
She nodded and more tears began to roll from her eyes. After another long pause, she asked, “Daddy, will you still love me?”
I keep saying, “Honey, dad is angry about what you did. I will always love you, though, and as much as ever. Just promise me that you will be a good student in class and show respect to your teacher. Will you?” Do that?”
She nodded and fell silent, waiting for him to say more. Instead of continuing to berate her, I close the episode by saying, “Come on, let daddy give you a hug.”
He threw himself on me while the tears continued to roll. From her eyes, I can tell that she knew she was wrong and, at the same time, she felt a sense of security that her dad would always be there to love her, no matter what.
This event occurred about three weeks ago from the time I write this. Since then, I haven’t heard any complaints from the teacher. I hope that our little girl continues to be a good and attentive student in class.
Develop a service orientation
You and your children can collectively learn to love by serving. Serve in some kind of community project where your family can help others in need. Look for charitable services that you can provide as a family and that can involve your children. By serving others, your children will learn and appreciate the true meaning of love.
Take care of younger siblings
If you have children who are 4 years old or older, you can teach them love by giving them the privilege of helping and serving their younger siblings.
Call your oldest child guardian and tell him that the youngest child is a student. Tell the older one that he will have the opportunity to help the little one in many ways. You can sit next to the child at mealtime, helping him cut vegetables or meat into smaller pieces and drinking milk for him. You can also hold the hand of the youngest while traveling on the road. You can read your little one bedtime stories or just help him watch his siblings while he takes a quick shower.
Your older son will not only learn to love those he serves, but he will also appreciate you as his father by helping him with the things you usually do.
show physical love
Parents should show their love openly and teach their children that open affection and love are perfectly fine. Give hugs and kisses. School-age children need to feel physical love from their parents just as much as they do when they are preschool-age children. Give your children hugs when they leave the house to go to school, come home from outside, go to bed, etc. Everyone appreciates a sincere and confused hug. Be sure to verbally tell your children that you love them and give them your hugs.